Beloved todays into sweet memories

This being my first attempt at what is commonly known as blogging I don't know how this'll turn out to be, but I earnestly hope that it does at the end quite resemble what i had in mind. Now again, ah well i do suppose what I'm jotting down here is what has been bothering me. Forgive me if it turns out to be crap but then I'm saying it.
Though I've been brooding about this for long, I do remember once thinking bout this when I was in 5th or so, in slightly lesser terms, few days back i read a book bout 3 small sisters separated at an early age and who finally meet up 30 yrs later, only having to be introduced to each other again, having grown up in their own different ways. Though this is what the story is ultimately bout, I read bout their parent's lives too, how they fall in love, marry, build a family, and finally how they die a tragic death by the cruel turn of fate, or so fate shaped by the human habits, leaving behind 3 small kids orphaned. Forgive me in not reaching the point but read on. Now when the kids meet 30 yrs later and they talk it was...well I dunno how to bring it out exactly, but all was past tense. They lost their childhood, one which they should have been in together, growing along sideways. Instead, they were separated. 2 kids grew up in the care of good parents, in all luxury, forgetting all of the past while one lived a tragedy, being even raped when only 12 in and out of foster homes. What struck me while reading it was that while one second I was seeing a kid 9 yrs of age weeping for her lost sisters, next I'm seeing a woman 30 yrs of age, all hopes of love lost, just two old forgotten voices crying her name which made her into what she is today, all emotions locked behind layers and layers of steel. This difference I still find hard to comprehend. Maybe that is what is attributed as the mystery of time. Of course, it remains as clear as crystal. As time moves on, you grow. While reading bout their parents I was in one era of time, two pages thence, I'm seeing them as parents and in another era of time. What was shaping was how pleasant times suddenly changed into memories. memories that only some keep and cherish.

Isn't this our fate too? Dyu remember yourself as a child? The times spent in your grandparents lap? making your mom run behind you clutching the school bag? I sometimes remember what i feel is my earliest memory; sitting in my grandfathers lap sucking at the oranges that he peeled for me. Wonder how it was at those times..How it'd be to be in that age once again.
Today here I am at college, only one more yr to go but a long trail of back papers. At present my life is composed of my friends, college, room sleep games and all those stuff that makes a budding youth go wild. How'll it be tomm? What'll life be like? Will I be sitting in a chair signing documents or on a stone mending shoes? Elder, more responsibilities to take care off, even the basic meaning of life changed. What earlier was study and enjoy has now changed into work and survive. The people that we see too have changed. Earlier friends. Now what? Acquaintances? Relations? While then it was to share even the last penny in your pocket, now it is a fight to gain that same last penny for the self. Earlier it was friends that was family more. Now you know what family really means. those early friend you see just maybe once in a while or maybe ever not. Those faces of the past remains etched in the memories of some while it has left not even the tiniest clue in some. Those days are just a bunch of tales..tales that you joke about or think about all again just seen through your minds eye.

Some more years thence and you are near your own death. Old and fragile, all the youthful strength gone, how'd it feel then seeing someone doing a crazy stunt you did in your twenties? Suppose you see someone walking down the road and recognize that person as the one you fell in love with almost 50 yrs before but never expressed? Or it is the person with whom you had the biggest fight of your life, and never again had a word or a look? how'd you feel? Will the hate have melted or is the hate still der? Were are your old friends now? The ones with whom you shared your room told all secrets you had even the small crushes and tales? Are they still near? Or forgotten away in the passage of time?

All whom you loved in your early days are now dead. Your parents, grandparents, best friends, spouse..you yourself await your death. Would you miss those times? would a tear tickle down your face thinking bout them? What would your wish be as you die? To be born to the same parents? same siblings? to have all whom you loved in your next life?

Yes, Time is a mystery. I still think bout my grandfather and wonder whether I'd see him again. But none to gimme an answer. Right now as I sit in my hostel room looking at my two good friends fighting over something, I wonder were would they be 40 years thence? Will we be the same then? Time placed restrictions apart, will we be the same again? I wonder bout my friends in class.. Will I even know them as I know now some yrs later? I know naught. But I wish..I wish i had an answer..