That obscure line between reality and imagination

Not always is there the otherwise pleasant breeze in the air. And as usual the first reason that is easily churned out is fate.
' It just happened so'
Why? All that is in answer is shrugs, maybe a few downward glances and that very particular shrug which seems to give the best answer, - the futility of such a question.

Pondering about it assumes a new lead. Its simply akin to searching for that drop of poison that got spilt in milk. Even if you do find it, there is no surety that you will ever know you found it. It is just as close as it gets. You know you got it, but you don't know it. You are not confused, no you no you are not. It's just that all you've got is why you are not feeling the breeze, not why the breeze stopped and for that matter, you're not even sure there was a breeze in the first place or whether it was created by a tingling on your body by a figment of your imagination..

Breeze into the rainy darkness..

Why is there a breeze when it rains? That cool flow of air gliding over our face, creating a halo of happiness, a particular urge to go out and dance in the rain or simply jump about? Or sometimes that unearthly serenity, a tranquility that spreads itself throughout our being.

It is a quarter past midnight and the whole city is sleeping. Streetlights here and there illuminate the drops that seem to be falling in a timeless stream. The nearby coconut trees stand up tall, their leaves swaying to and fro in the draught that blows softly, cool as it be yet comforting that it is. From where I am I see puddles forming, getting larger with every falling drop. The silence of the night has given way to the pattering of the drops and the sweet melody that wafts in from somewhere. The song keeps changing but the music is still in harmony with the rain. Somehow music and the pitter-patter of the rain has an interesting way of blending in with one another.

In the distance against the backdrop of the night sky I can see a lone coconut palm. Its leaves, the ones pointing to the top keep fluttering in every fresh wave of the breeze.

I slowly slip back a few years. I remember a rainy night not unlike this one, when I sat staring at the pond beneath my place, the rain making newer patterns on its waters every now and then. There was a cool breeze and again swaying coconut palm leaves. The darkness over the water was split only by some stray light emerging through some trees. Sitting alone in the darkness, musing at the rain and the melody it created, gazing into the night sky, wondering about nothing in particular.. Rain, light, breeze, melody...

This is yet another rainy night, one that forms the many hundreds in this lifetime. Every passing night is fresh, each better than the other yet rival to none, each unique in a way that only feeling it can express. . . .

A Cycle..

One fine evening, just as the day had started to cool we set forth on the journey that was to change my life forever.. Full of hopes and dreams, tomorrow was something that offered a lot. Once or twice along the path we would get down to have tea or to stretch ourselves. My mom and aunt would say some story or incident from their lives and me and my uncle would offer our views. It was a journey to a new phase of my life. There was a lot to see along the path and though it wasn't new to us, it ever failed to incite our curiosity..

For me, the journey was full of plans, plans to emerge out in a new and different form, to put back a lot and to start afresh. A step to a new world, an entry into a world so much heard and talked about. So busy was I making plans that little did I see the dangers once again, lurking in the corners, waiting for their chance..yet again..

All these years later, when the mist has finally started to settle only a single tune is playing. It was the same tune all along, only played in different ways. History repeated itself..n rather harshly....

Deep Down Under......

I thought and thought and pondered a lot but to no avail.. Nothing would give me what i yearned for neither could it say why I yearned so.. But the thought was clear and deep. I did see it so bad such that I did not see a lot.

Words form on their own, answers to questions long forgotten thus taking the ship far away from where it thirsted to be.. The house on the highway though was far away is now nowhere in sight. The path once trodden though fragrant with roses suddenly wilt away leaving the thorns every here and there.

As a kid lost in thought, here and there I look. Everyday leaves here and there rush to tell the tale but there is a shadow cast over them.. The eye longs to see but the wind has a different tale to whisper for deep down under a knife has been thrust and the pieces have just started to pick up themselves...

Mistakes...

"To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine"

We've always heard this atleast once in our lifetime.. The context described in the adage stresses on the importance of forgiving nut then I'd like to stress upon the former part.. - to err is human... tried goggling on it and found a variety of interesting results. However the mistake they concentrated on were commonly occurring slips in life.. I'd like to drag your attention to another level of mistakes.. Not the slips we make but mistakes as in mistakes that has a lot of consequences...say like a lying to someone or a mistake by which we altered some course of life dat'd have happened otherwise. Of course I'm sure almost everyone would have done either of it even if only once. Pause and think bout it. Why did yu do it?? Why did yu tell a lie even when yu knew that'd change something had the truth been said? Why did you commit a mistake even when yu knew that it'd change ur course of life?? Obviously mistakes can be categorized in two based on intention as unknown or known. Speaking of the known, i.e. the intentional ones, pause and ask yourself. Why??

Yes there was a reason. Obviously there should be a reason behind everything that we do, or no. coz there are some things we just do and den wonder y we did.. So what prompted us into doing dos?? The subconscious? or .. fate??

I believe that we are born for a reason. As such everything we do too is cos it is ordained that we would be doing so. Thinking likewise I arrived at the solution that whatever mistake we committed is, as said earlier, a part of why we are here on earth. Therefore it was the intention of the creator that we would be committing such a folly so that we may learn something from that, perhaps as a part of the training for whoever we are meant to be?? I'd like to believe so.. But as much as I want to, I also firmly believe that whatever we are tomorrow is as a result of whatever work and effort we put towards it, whatever we dream up for ourself and achieve.

The two actually support each other but, I'm talking things from another perspective. To make my point clear, suppose a case wherein you have a dream of being, say, a sportsman, a cricketer. You had it from childhood and it looked lyk yu were made for it too as yu were all over the game from ur earlier years and were quite good at it too. Over the years yu only grew good at it and it was sure that yu'd make one of the finest players time had ever seen. Somehow yu got into de practice of taking drugs. Yu knew twas not right to do so and should stay away but yu never complied. One day after having got so high that yu could barely walk, yu took a challenge and drove a bike, which however crashed into a bus. Yu survived the crash, but ur legs took serious damage that it was after a hard effort the doctors got it up n walking. Your situation at present - Your legs can never take more dan a minimum pressure, meaning, you can bid goodbye to ur cricketing career. Not jus dat, no sports, no physically exhausting activity. You kiss ur former dream goodbye, spend some long tym over it. But then, life has to go on.. You work towards nothing in particular, doing what u're told or what yu feel lyk, simply cos dat was de first thing in mind or wat others were doing. But somehow yu excelled in watever yu did and life began showing yu another aim, or rather yu found another aim to base urself. Some years later you're a writer. Hailed by many as a blessed writer yu address a variety of issues thorough your book and look forward to an glorious life in it. Now my question. What did life or fate have in store for yu? Was it meant to be that yu'd become a writer or did it change when yu went thru ur post accident life? Of course I'd like to believe that it was a culmination of choices that led to dis but is it also that fate had it in store all the while? If so do the mistakes committed become justified by saying that since we were meant for another path something was meant to go wrong which'd den give some quality lesson thus preparing us further into de life we were originally meant for?

P.S I believe I have utterly destroyed my point and complicated things, but i do sincerely hope the basic message was understood...

The answers we get, do we have questions??

I seem to have trouble wrtting a title for this entry.. Yet i keep it as what it is now, just maybe so it may atleast skim the surface.. What i actually intented to bring out is how we, sometimes (and some ppl everytime) find answers to certain solutions esecially when there exists no question. Confusing eh? How can there be an answer, when there already is a solution? Now reading the line fully, how can there be an answer or a solution especially when there is no question at all in the first place??

I once read of a story wherein a professor comes into his new class, a graduate class, and immediatly on reaching wrote down a certain few digits on the blackboard. All of them stared at it for a moment and suddenly as if struck by a bolt of lightening, the nerdy ones, remembering that the professor took mathematics started to analyse the particular number to understand its significane, features, properties if any etc. Slowly the whole class followed suit. Finally not getting any immediate conclusion as to any particular property of the aforesaid number worth mentioning, someone asked the professor, " Sir, we dont find any significane to the number yu wrote. Can yu please tell us what it is." Answered the professor - " That number has no significance, except that its my phone number." Thence asked the professor, " Why do yu go in search for answers, when there is no question at all?? The first step to anything is pose the question. And if you dont get the question do not go for the answer, for they may all be very far from the truth."

This applies everywhere and to every aspect of our life. It is rather common and most of us everyday do this. We try to find answers to questions that dont even exist. Maybe it may be that a certain event has occured. A normal occurance of somethin quite natural, which had it not occured today may have occured toorrow or may sometimes never even occur at all. The main thing is under normal conditions we may not even notice that it occured. But it so happened that once when it did occur we noticed it. Somehow having heard of its occurance from a biased source or maybe through a crafty side of our head we do take notice. And normally which would have looked pretty normal starts to llok particularily weird. Now that is were the all powerful and ingenious gifts we have, our imagination, our thinking, start their rather ingenious workings. Here the number on the board is the event. Now we start pondering.

• Maybe it might have happened because a rocket fell on it..
• Or no maybe it did happen because my best friend betrayed me and did it..
• No no.. never possible.. It happened because of the earths gravity pull which suddenly shifted causing the tree to fall over it and ultimately its leaves which let out a certain sap moulded over it.

Now whatever the event be we start thinking and in less than ten seconds we would have found certain assumptions, in under a minute the probable reasons has increased tenfolds and alsThe reasono has certain proofs to back it up. Old forgotten stuff suddenly props up in the mind as a proof as the stage setter for the event and connecting a lot of those old stuff we suddenly have a very strong and evident reason as to why it took place which, however might be miles away from the actual reason.

The reason why i'm blurting out all this is, it is a phenomenon that happens to all humans, or perhaps the ones who think they can think, the ones who plays the detective, or the perfectly normal but the i do care ones. I dunno wat category i would fall into; guess there are many other categories as well, but thing is while i normally do have them in a very normal and not so big ways a few days ago i had a bad one. I heard somethin or rather a certain conversation that went between them. Mind yu, i wasnt evesdropping, the conversationalist only told me a while later. But since I hadn't known it, (I don understand what i'd have understood had i been known it), i began to think possible answers for that particular conversation. I went so far as to link them up and went deep into the past to get a few connections too.. Ooo and i did get myself a pretty good reason as to why they had that conversation. Only prob is there wasnt a question der. It was a perfectly normal conversation. But to quench my thirst for answers i found a multitude of answers and finally merged into one. They talked because :

• they were plotting against me
• they shared a very big secret
• they had a secret affair

So summed up, they, who had a secret afair, were plotting against me from a very big secret, or maybe it can also be through that secret. who knows rite? :p

This just takes a few minutes of calm n unbiased positive look from the exterior to understand that there was no missiles being manufactured in der. Things like des, when ppl tend to find answers without a question is when the path of life takes a bad turn. And unsurprisingly, this is quite a truth behind many problems yu see and undergo everyday. So, though i don think i have made my point out fully, never jump to absurd conclusions without posing the question. Well as an afterthought, even after yu pose the question don jump to absurd conclusions....

Got from smalltown_gal

You can only answer yes or no.
You are not allowed to say anything or explain anything unless someone messages you.

Taken a picture naked? : - No
Made out with a member of the same sex? : - No
Danced in front of your mirror? : - Yes
Told a lie? : - Yes

Gotten in a car with people you just met?: - Yes
Been in a fist fight? : - Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : - Yes
!
Been arrested? : - No

Left your house without telling your parents? : - Yes
Ditched school to do something more fun? : - Yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : - Yes

Seen someone die? : - No
Kissed a picture? : - Yes
Slept in until 3? : - Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : - Yes
Played dress up? : - No
Fallen asleep at work/school? : - Yes
Felt an earthquake? : - Yes
Touched a snake? : - No
Ran a red light? : - Yes
Had detention? : - Yes
Been in a car accident? : - Yes
Pole danced? : - No
Been lost? : - Yes

Sang karaoke? : - Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : - Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : - Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : - No
Kissed in the rain? : - No
Sang in the shower? : - YES
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : - No

Ever gone to school partially naked? : No

Sat on a roof top? : - Yes
Played chicken? : - No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : - Yes

Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : - No
Broken a bone? : - Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : - No
Forgotten someone's name? : - Yes

Slept naked? : - Yes

Blacked out from drinking? : - No
Played a prank on someone? : - Yes
Felt like killing someone? : - Yes
Made a parent cry? : - Yes
Cried over someone? : - No
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : - No
Had/Have a dog? : - No
Been in a band? : - No

Drank 25 sodas in a day? : - No
Shot a gun?:- No